Student Loans For Beer Money

So I’m watching a history Channel Documentary on Bruce Lee

And he makes like working out seem really, really, really fucking cool. And I wanna start working out, in fact it’s not the work that turn me off, it’s the culture. Does anyone have any good examples of ways someone can work out regularly but still be considered a drunken mess?

An observation from staying with my Dad in the suburbs

There is someone using a leaf blower or weed whacker every 15 minutes all day.

GAYS CAN’T TALK APPARENTLY, PLZ, AZ IF.

boygirlconvos:

Boy: I think I cheated God

Girl: What do you mean..?

Boy: Because you know how people go to Heaven?

Boy: It’s supposed to be like that

Boy: But Heaven has been brought down to me

BOY GIRL CONVOS? WHAT ABOUT BOY BOY CONVOS? OR GIRL GIRL CONVOS? OR CONVOS BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE HAVE SORTA HAVE A TINY BIT OF A WEINER BUT ALSO HAVE SOME LEFT OVER VAGINA TUBES? OR TWO A-SEXUAL ENTITIES WITH ASSMOUTHS?

No… seriously… reading through, my McCainovision is going berserk here. Also, while I’m at it, can we please start a rumor that Ache is run by teapartiers?

So I’m mentoring a summer journalism class

for high school students and we got to the dreaded “social media day”. It went better than expected, but I always feel like really embarrassed when journalists bring up Twitter.

I also kind of want to become a Twitter queen and get invited cool parties and tweet about them. Unfortunately, like my last twitter resolution to sexually harass and make vague threats at celebrities, I probably won’t become a twitter star.

1) Yes, a while back. I really liked it. The opening scene is by far the best, but the whole movie’s pretty damn good.

2) Wait… what? Still? Really? Huh?

3) I agree with you, but this whole conversation is stupid.

The internet is aflame with the words of professional troll Roger Ebert… again

It’s actually funny I’ve talked about Ebert’s original essay so many times over the last month because I think it’s really ballsy, not exactly correct, but really ballsy. And it also finally articulated a problem I have with gaming. Even last night I was drunkenly talking about how video games, but much more so video gamers need to grow up.

Video games have the potential to be one of the most engrossing forms of media ever invented. And yet, most video gamers and video game developers are fine to fart around with the simplest of objective based storytelling. It really pisses me off, it’s just such a waste.

Still though, I think Ebert is really classy for revisiting the topic though.

There’s been a ton of Tim and Eric on my newsfeed today

Which actually works out because I wanted to write about them after watching the Tennis episode last night. Which, isn’t my favorite one, but at the end it kind of sparked a thought when The Lonely Island shows up.

I think that Tim and Eric are really important because they have yet to really compromise what they do and that’s what I think I liked so much about The Lonely Island cameo. It’s like here’s Tim and Eric, fat, stoned, in Lycra tennis outfits shouting nonsense at each other, and then bros-on-boats The Lonely Island walk in in like board shorts and flip flops.

And I think that’s a really great comparison. But it also makes me worry about Tim and Eric for the same reason.

Rolling Stone calls Crab Core a subsection of Emo

dontcookbilly:

I’m not so sure about that

It’s not in the way that that like Passion Pit has anything musically in common with Chillwave… and yet, the crowd’s are almost interchangeable (dear fans of Chillwave who would like to dispute that fact, I don’t care about your opinion, I don’t go to The New School).

I mean if I had the sad task of writing a Rolling Stone article about the state of emo/screamo/crabcore/autotuner/metalcore… jeez, see, fucking look at that. That’s too many slashes. As an ex-pat of that whole culture of people I prefer the term “Easycore”.

It’s versatile in that it really just covers that whole fucking bullshit scene as anything playing it safe while playing it hard and marketed towards The Warped Tour.

A thought I had

(I am running out battery life so this could be rushed)

Do you ever think that maybe rock music criticism was a grand experiment and it doesn’t really work? It’s relatively new, started in the 60’s, was more or less refined until the 90’s.

But I was reading a thread that Absolute Punk was having about The Wonder Years or something and thinking about how maybe that’s where rock music-media should go. Community based discussion boards, as opposed to high-literary criticism. I think I like that idea more because as I was actually really working in criticism I found myself feeling really pointless, because at the end of the day, who cares about Minus The Bear’s new album or what I think about so and so and whosy-whatsy.

I dunno, but sometimes that whole section of writing bothers me. I’d rather see reviews of pop music more than rock, because at least then you can judge it objectively on criteria that makes sense, largely because no one actually truly cares about pop music.

I mean if they do really take pop music to heart, they probably don’t read anyways.

Hmm.

mondosmusicbox:

iisabelle:

rattus-anus:

boiledbones:

somethingvaguee:

sh-boom:

jazzcakes:

i-am-the-lighthouse:

SEXISM EXISTS. Spot the gender difference in Halloween costumes.

(Picture source: Halloween Costumes: Go Sexy or Go Home?)

This bothers me, it always has. I absolutely loathe seeing costumes geared towards women that are way too suggestive. There’s nothing sexy about it. There’s nothing cute about it. It’s blantantly digusting and it needs to go away.

sorry id totally wear the slutty tin man costume

oh christ that made me laugh. it is fucking irritating though trying to find a costume that doesn’t make me look like a sperm dumpster

thats the one thing that bums me out about halloween costumes for women. its always sexy *noun*. I want fucking creativity people!

YOU’RE RIGHT GUIZE, IF PEOPLE SELL THINGS AND THEN WE BUY THOSE THINGS THE FAULT DOESN’T LIE WITH THE FACT THEY THE SELL BUT THE FACT THAT THEY’RE SOLD! C’MON, GANG-OF-20-YEAR-OLDS, LET’S GO THROW LOGIC TO THE WIND AND MAKE SOME INFOGRAPHICS THAT’LL REALLY SHIFT SOME PARADIGMS.</caps>

I don’t wanna sound like a capitalist Republican, but if I went out right now and design a weiner-spike, a product designed to put a spike in your wiener, no one would buy it. There kind of has to be a market for things to exist.

stormytherabbit:

-stilldreaming:

cantdanceforever:

LOL!
Poor Demi, even Oli Sykes can’t wrap his head around you liking his band. Your favourite song is “Pray for Plagues”? Haha, such a wannabee.

yeah i have a hard time believing it when people tell me they like bring me the horizon too

can’t say i blame him i guess

See, here’s the thing. A lot of people hate Bring Me The Horizon and it’s definitely well-founded hatred, but I always wonder if they’re hated because of their music or because of their image. Because if you ask me, musically they’re no different than any of the other metalcore boybands, like Job For A Cowboy, Norma Jean, UnderOATH, Devil Wears Prada, ad infinitum. But BMTH seems to get the most shit. And I don’t think I even mind that genre of “fun metalcore” or whatever either, because let’s face it, metalcore is culturally irrelevant to begin with.

But realtalk here: I really, deep down think that the reason bands like BMTH make people uncomfortable is because they’re bros playing metal and making money. It’s like God forbid bros show up in your scene! But like, ya know what, the line isn’t that drastic and that’s what BMTH proves. Metalheads are just ugly bros.

notforzulu:

I miss these guys before they sucked. Take Off Your Pants And Jacket was their last good album.

Ya’ know, it’s really easy I think to say that TOYPAJ was their last good album, but if you really, really think hard and separate yourself from the ages you were when their albums came out I honestly think their self-titled was a superior album.

It was dynamic, it had well-written and interesting song structures, it had actually atmosphere. And it didn’t have songs that could be used in the chug-a-beer sequences from American Pie. And I always hear like “oh, they totally sold out.” But like what are we really talking about here? It’s not like they were God damn A Million Dead Cops, they were a pop punk boy band that took the mantel in-between Green Day and Fall Out Boy.

And that’s why I like the self-titled, because they finally decided to get beyond being a skate park soundtrack and proved they could actually write music. Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion…

Gretchen Carlson is a God damn stupid piece of shit. I don’t know what it is about prominent Republican women that erks me. I think it’s the fact they’re essentially the equivalent of house slaves at a plantation. They work and promote a culture and an ideology that keeps other women under control.

But the real highlight of finding this clip on reddit was from the comments (which are almost better than the links most days):

Only 4Chan can decide if we got to war or not. We have these restraints in place for a reason.
Exactly. Reddit, Digg and 4chan are precisely like the 3 branches of government.
maybe. but only if digg is congress because they never have original ideas and never get anything done.

I think this is a really great concept. I’ve noticed it too, because a lot of times I’ll be perusing the old /b/ and notice a joke or internet fad balloon out from nothing and then within like 2 hours it’s kind of appraised by reddit and then after the reddit boost digg picks it up and then by the next day it’s all over the blogosphere. I think I like that, too.

I got my first rejection letter!

Dear Ryan,

Thank you for submitting your work to Nashville Review. This doesn’t seem like a good fit for NR, but we appreciate your interest in our magazine.

Best,
NR

WHOOPS! Sucks to be my short story right now haha.

On dildos

somethingintellectual replied to your video: Student Loans For Beer Money - The Poorly Done…

Ryan…is that a dildo? @:30……WHY DO YOU HAVE A DILDO. haha

Yes. We have two dildos. One is black and sticks to the wall, the other is floppy and pink and I swear to God will make your hands smell like strawberries. The reason we have this is…

Every year NONSENSE Humor Magazine (that’s the office we film in all contribute/contributed to) has an event called the Shavenger Cunt. One of the items on the list was a dildo for like 6,000 pts. or something. My team got the pink one. I asked for the cheapest one they had, bought that one, opened it in the store and then dropped it in a puddle. But it still smells like strawberries.

The black one that sticks to things is used in an office game called Hatchy Scatchy (and it also the name of one of the songs of me and Mark’s (and Bryan’s) band). It involves trying to get it to stick to things.

I bet you didn’t think the response was gonna be this long, huh?

Doodles | Look at this crazy shit I found! | Rants | Things involving space and/or animals | Popculture garbage | Sccciiieeennnccceee! | Stupid videos!