Ryan Patrick Broderick
Ryan.Broderick@gmail.com
@RyanhatesthisMartin Luther vs. Jay Z.
If you’re havin’ church problems i feel bad for you son
I got 95 problems but my faith ain’t one
I got the Pope patrol on the book patrol
Foes that wanna make sure my casket’s closed
Church critics they say he’s “Heretic Prose”
I’m from Wittenberg, what type of facts are those
If you grew up with the Catholic bros
You’d know the minute greed won, I suppose
I’m like fuck Tetzel you can kiss my whole asshole
If you don’t like my theses you can just fast forward
I got beef with Leo if I don’t play his show
They don’t like my bit, I don’t give a shit SO
Catholics try and hurt my white ass
So churchgoers can give ‘em more cash for Rome, fuckers
I don’t know what you take me as,
Or understand the intelligence that Luther has
I’m from rags to riches, Vatican I ain’t dumb
I got 95 problems but my faith ain’t one
Hit me
[Chorus]
95 problems but my faith ain’t one
If you’re havin’ church problems i feel bad for you son
I got 95 problems but my faith ain’t one
Hit me
The year’s ‘17 and my church is bad
In my rear view mirror is that Tetzel fucking lad
I got two choices: let him take my money or
Nail my many theses to the local church door
Now I ain’t tryin’ to see the church fuck around with me.
Excommunication don’t mean a thing, you see
So I put my shit up and make a bit o’ stir
I said “What are we paying you this money for?”
Cause we’re Catholic guys and St. Pete’s needs mint?
Or to pay some money for your e-le-phant?
You are richer than all of us, no?
Will we really get a soul out of purg-a-to’?
I got the Bible in Latin, so I’m really armed
Now I’ll make German for the people on the farm
I ain’t steppin out of shit all my paper’s legit
But your reputation’s gonna take a little hit
The Protestant Reformation’s goin’ out of control
No matter what Leo says, I’m playin’ a role
“Aren’t you sharp as a tack, you some type of clergy or something’?”
“Or somebody important or somethin’?”
I’m an Augustinian, so I know a little bit
Enough so that you won’t be spreadin’ your shit
“We’ll see how smart you are when you’re excommunicant”
I got 95 problems but my faith ain’t one
Hit me
[Chorus]
95 Problems but my faith ain’t one
If you havin’ church problems I feel bad for you son
I got 95 problems but my faith ain’t one
Hit me!
95 Problems but my faith ain’t one
If you havin’ church problems I feel bad for you son
I got 95 problems but my faith ain’t one
Hit me!
[Verse]
Now once upon a time not too long ago
A Christian like myself had to strong arm the bros
This is not a bro in the sense of havin’ communion
But the pussies havin’ no God Damn sense, the Sanhedrin
We tried to ignore them and talk to the Lord
Think about justification by faith alone
You know the type, loud as a motor bike
That couldn’t get to God if he was right there, aight?
The only thing that’s gonna happen is they will start they yappin’
But they have no faith, so in hell they will be crappin’
And there I go tryin’ to get salvation again
‘Cause of St. Paul’s writings, he’s the man
Fiends in synagogue are losin’ out
‘Cause God will only accept the devout
Gospel is the only way we’ll get there
‘Cause everyone covets, that law’s too much to bear
Y’all need to get the righteousness of Christ
‘Cause he died for our sins, that really bites
This doctrine’s comin’ down straight from heaven
I got 95 problems, havin’ no faith ain’t one.
Hit me
You’re crazy for this one Paul
It’s your boyA friend made this. I didn’t want to read it, and I did.
So theologically whack.
Fucking Jesus Christ…
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